She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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