Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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