I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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