they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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