It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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