its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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