I bet he comes in French.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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