You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize