Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize