I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm at about main and main street
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
