This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
