On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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