Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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