Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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