I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
