I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Randomize