I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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