Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
