after a month anything with tits is on the radar
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
