I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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