Screwed.edu
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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