The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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