i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
