New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
