you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
