yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
