Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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