can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
