I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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