That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
