Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
