The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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