I think i peed on brittanys purse
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
