wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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