Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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