I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
