Yo dont text me then not text me
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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