she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
