I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize