To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
