I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'd cum for enchiladas.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
