oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Is that strawberry winking at me??
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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