I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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