its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
