this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
