Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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