I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
