she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
