i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
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