Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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