I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Are my feet made of real feet?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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