I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
