I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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