Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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