After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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