she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
