WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
